So, while it may seem hard to believe, someone with my Christian upbringing and polite language still enjoys an occasional beer (or 12).
This time of year liquor stores are flowing with pumpkin ales and oktoberfest beers. I can never remember which one I like or have tried before, so I thought I’d finally taste a bunch and make a ruling.
Based on what these brewers classify as a pumpkin ale, pumpkin apparently tastes differently in every part of the world. In some places, pumpkin tastes like what you’d get at Thanksgiving dinner with a slice of pumpkin pie. In other places, like old well water that has been filtered through used Dr. Scholl’s.
So, here are my results of eight beers based on several criteria:
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| Cost | Aroma | Appearance | Pumpkin-ability (1=Dog queef, 10=The Great Pumpkin) |
Crunkin-ability | Result | |
| Saranac Pumpkin | Avg. | Very slight pumpkin smell | Dark and rich | 9 | 5.4% | Gold Medal – An overall great beer that tastes like the pumpkin you are used to. |
| Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin | Cheap | Miller Lite (i.e. old balls) | Light. Like Miller lite. | 5 | 5.7% | Worst in Show – Used Miller Lite (i.e. piss) and cinnamon. |
| Shipyard Pumpkinhead | Avg. | Almost nothing, but some pumpkin | Very light amber. | 8 | 4.5% | Bronze Medal – Was leading in the clubhouse for a while, and definitely |
| Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale | Avg. | Very light, but pleasant | Solid amber color. | 7 | 5.7% | Honorable Mention – Pretty good beer in general, but not enough pumpkin to place. |
| Post Road Pumpkin | Avg. | Enticing; strong but not too much. | Similar to Sam Adams | 6 | 5.0% | Middle of the pack – just boring. |
| St. Ambroise Citrouille | Expensive | Not pumpkiny. Smells like hops. | Also similar to Sam Adams. | 8 | 5.0% | Silver Medal – This is a great beer and it definitely tastes like real pumpkin smells. The brewer took the pumpkin idea too literally. |
| Weyerbacher Imperial Pumpkin Ale | Expensive | Off. Smells like metal, like Johnny 5 farted. | Nice dark brown. | 5 | 8.0% | Meh – Good if you want to get drunk I guess. |
| Dogfish Head Punkin Ale | Expensive | Awful. Used coffee filter from 1978? | Appealing amber color. | 2 | 7.0% | Next to Last – Not a bad beer I guess, but it tastes like butter. How in the fuck is that like pumpkin? |
So, Saranac Pumpkin wins! This is a limited release beer, so I’d better stock up.
Mike's Sports Rage 