Monthly Archives: October 2010

Week 6: Redskins vs. Colt Sores

8:35 PM – I am about to bust a fat roll. Fuck you Carla Rogers. learn how to catch!!! how can a cornerback not know how to fucking catch a goddamn ball!!! it would be like a swim coach not knowing how to fucking swim. goddamn! goddamn!

8:40 PM – nice catch Santana! see kids? steroids DO work.

8:42 PM – Mother fuck me with a jackhammer. terrible fucking pass..’nn

8:43 PM – Landry blows another fucking coverage. I don’t give a spent cum if he can hit. he can’t fucking cover for fucking shit!!!!!!! fuck Landry. he is a she-bitch ass mime.

8:49 PM – and the blowout begins…..I might as well go to bed now

8:50 PM – nice call and even better run. he ran into the one Colt player within 40 yards. if he goes into a bar of hot women, does Torain hit on the one 80 year old with herpes?????!???? fuck

8:52 PM – Carla!!!!!!! you she-whore!!!

8:56 PM – we can’t run for shit. Stephen Hawking might as well be our RB.

9:01 PM – great run! he made filet mignon out of a turd

9:03 PM – Nice knowing you Cliton Portis (spelling error intended)

9:07 PM – the only thing our secondary can catch is the clap.

9:11PM – WTF DeAnal-low Hall! That French fuck Garçon is owning your ass. don’t pat him on the head afterwards. If I was prison raped for the third time in an hour, I wouldn’t pat my rapist’s head.

9:14 PM – our d’s mascot should be a prolapsed rectum

9:19 PM – Torain is running like he is on PCP and has diarrhea and the only toilet is in the end zone

9:25 PM – Peyton is killing us…need a turnover.

9:32 PM – we can not catch a fucking thing.

9:40 PM – What in the fuck is up with those Charmin commercials? If I wanted to watch cartoon characters play with their feces while singing a Barry White song, I would watch Japanese anime.

9:46 PM – 2 minutes left in the half and down 10. we have to get at least a FG before the half or you can all got to bed because this will be over.

9:55 PM – Does Archie Manning have Collinsworth’s family held at gunpoint, because he has been verbally tossing his salad.

10:13 PM – Aside from aliens landing in PG County, I don’t know how we avoid a loss tonight. We just don’t have the talent to keep pace.

10:21 PM – Our tinkerbell FG kicker almost missed the xp. we will never tie this game with him.

10:35 PM – Motherfucking Laron Panty sucks ass. we could be down 8030595828289040 and he would flex his biceps for all the 12 year old boys he rapes, but yet when he needs to make ONE fucking tackle, he offers to give a reach around instead of tackling. God fucking damnit. ass fucker balls.

10:40 PM – How long will this Colts TD drive take? 2 plays?

10:41 PM – The Colts picked up Justin Tryon-little-girl-underwear?!?! LOL!!!!

10:48 PM – No Collinsworth, our game plan is this: send an ambassador to China. Secure a billion dicks. Bring the billion dicks back to Washington and then suck a billion dicks for a trillion years. Fuck this defense.

10:56 PM – 3rd and 1. QB sneak? nope. short run up the middle? nope. piroutte around the right side for a loss of one? You betcha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:39 PM – Game over. here’s the wrap-up: Fuck.

12:00 AM – Officially my birthday now.  Thanks for my early present assholes.

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Week 4: Redskins at Filthadelphia Anals

4:16 PM – Holy unicorn fuck I am excited!  And even more shocked that the Anals “fans” cheered for McNabb.  Did they all find Jebus??!?

4:17 PM – At least since it is breast cancer awareness month, the Eagles’ gloves match their thongs.

4:19 PM – Why in the name of buttfucking dogfights hasn’t Banks been returning kicks until now?!?!  He did that all preseason!! Agghhh!!

4:21 PM – I’m comin’ Elizabeth!  A player and not a blade of grass tackled Portis.

4:23 PM – WOW!  I wonder how many little girls got puked on in the stands because of that play!!!!!!!!!!!  Go Skins!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:25 PM – OMG what a hit.  If that Easgles returner didn’t have a vagina before, he does now!!!!

4:29 PM – Is it just me, or does Mike Vick’s chinstrap look like little girl underwear?

4:33 PM – FUCK!!!! WIDE OPEN LIKE ANDY REID’s MOUTH at a LARD BUFFET AND HE OVERTHREW HIM LIKE A DICTATOR IN CENTRAL AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:34 PM – Please bench Portis.  Please bench Portis.  PLEASE BENCH PORTIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nevermind (4:35 PM)

4:37 PM – WOOOOHHOOOOO@!!!!! Go Donovan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:49 PM – Uh oh!  Vick’s vagina is Sick.

5:14 PM – Kolb looks pretty good!  ROFL

5:20 PM – Could I be any more of a jinx?  I talk shit about Kevin Knob and he completes like 7 in a row.  Stop these rapist mimes!!!

6:22 PM – If they don’t rule this a fumble I am going to turn my anus inside out and wear it as my Halloween costume.

6:26 PM – WOooooooooOOOO

6:29 PM – Fuck you Stephon Heyer!!!!

6:30 PM – Listen to me Joe Buck.  You cockworshipping Cowboys loving lockbox for cum.  The Cowboys aren’t watching this and liking this (unless they are picturing Kevin Knob naked and quivering in the shower.)  Have you forgotten we BEAT FUCKING DALLAS!!! AND WE LOST TO FUCKING ST. LOUIS!!! SO FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6:49 PM – My balls pulled up into the stratosphere on that near interception.

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