6:50 PM – I am really pumped about this game tonight. It’s easy to root for a team like this with nothing to lose and everything to gain. J. Williams and Pe’Shon are awesome. I hate Grievous Dos and the lanky white Scandanavian prick needs to step it up. Otherwise, who knows with this time?
7:03 PM – Getting ready to tip-off!!!
7:07 PM – Could there be any more logos on the court? It looks like a Nascar pit crew exploded.
7:09 PM – Stupid morons. The goddamn NBA 3-point line don’t matter for shitt. Fucking idiot. It’s college. You know, the place where you never go to class and steal alumni money and catch clap?
7:17 PM – Our rebounding has been pretty strong. SO nice to have an actual center and not a midget in platform shoes.
7:20 PM – Ok, Grievous Dos, you hit that three, but AGAIN from the NBA line. Fucking idiota.
7:21 PM – Deity rape. How the hell can we suck so badly at free throws? HOW?
7:27 PM – This team is balls. We might still lose to them, but they are really poorly coached. They run through the lane like the pissed off sasquatch from the beef jerky commercials.
7:29 PM – Nice pass directly to Pitt player Grievous Dos. You are a pile of shit. Please fucking choke on your own ego and die.
7:32 PM – I love Moseley. Sucks at life, but full of heart. He will never give up after he makes a mistake. That recovery to Williams was amazing.
7:34 PM – Every time I look down I expect to be up by 12. We should be killing this shitty team.
7:38 PM – Gary needs to force our guys to stick their hands in a blender every time we miss a free throw in practice. Absolutely inexcusable. How can someone so tall not make a free throw? How? Especially when that is all they do with their lives. I guarantee you that as a fat guy who eats all day, that I could eat a taco if given one. That should be what a free throw is like to a 6′ tall basketball player who has chosen to only play basketball with their lives. FUCK
7:41 PM – If these fouls continue at this rate, our mascots might make it into the game.
7:42 – Fucking Paulssssson. You Icelandic shit. In the game for two minutes and like your home country’s volcano, you fucked it up for everyone else.
7:52 PM – At least their team is just as stupid for the 3-point line. Seriously, how complicated can it be? There are two lines. It’s not like you have to search the floor for a periodic table to find the right atomic weight and shoot from that line. Fucking idiots.
7:55 PM – Pe’Shon Howard just pulled out his Pe’Nis on that play and out-manned that shitt player from Pitt.
7:56 PM – FUCK YOU GRIEVOUS DOS!!!! BENCH THAT SHIT CHUGGING, HAT STAND FOR NUT SAC.
8:15 PM – I may front a hair metal band before we hit another free throw.
8:20 PM – and just like that, this shit team has an 8 point lead on us.
8:21 PM – If that was a foul Williams then I am Yao Ming.
8:22 PM – This game is over. Mother fucker. These games are the worst losses, because it is to an overrated bleeding asshole of a team. There is NO chance they make it out of the second round. Put it in fucking granite and place it on the National Mall. THEY ARE SHIT. WE ARE JUST SHITTTTIERRRRRR!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH
8:25 PM – That Pitt player just slipped on her own juices.
8:26 PM – That terrible decision from Mosley just killed us. It looked like Gary might strangle one of the guys on the bench with his tie while beating off. He made my rage look calm.
8:32 PM – WE MADE A GODDAMN FREE THROW!!!! I EXPECT JESUS TO RIDE AN ALIEN MOTHERSHIP FILLED WITH UNICORNS INTO THE STADIUM. FUCKKK
8:34 PM – Make these free throws Grievous Dos!!!!
8:35 PM – YES!! Random white guy I never heard of before! Nice play!!!
8:36 PM – How was that out on us?? Did it go off Gary’s enormous dong??!?
8:54 PM – What a difficult game this is to watch…
9:01 PM – Ahhhhh. Dino Gregory. There is the asshole I know and love. Missing wide open layups. I can’t remember the nickname I gave him before, but Dino is now Suck-a-saurus Rex.
9:06 PM – Signing off for now. I need to stick my head in the oven.
Mike's Sports Rage 