Maryland vs. Seattle (has a team now?)

8:10 PM – this is going to be a looooooong year. we can not shoot at all. holy shit.

8:12 PM – FYI, I just checked to see if Grievous has even played this year for Memfist. he has played a total of 80 seconds. workers unite!

8:17 PM – our recruiting makes me want to puke. do we pick the shittiest states to recruit in? Stoglin was all-state in Arizona. Caner-Medley from Maine. Hopefully next year we can get Tooga Booga Whogivesashit from Guam’s all-island team.

8:19 – what the fucking bullfuck?!? Jordin Williams has NO jumper. he could be a goddamn gnome living inside the rim and still would miss a jumper.

8:23 – this Howard kid looks good…and not in the “Hi, I’m a Duke player who thinks you look good enough to have sodomy with” way.

8:24 – our students are already in midseason form. I’ve already clearly heard the words “pussy!” and “bullshit!”

8:26 – Stoglin is going to be the next Vasquez. guaranteed. a scorer who makes dumber decisions than Sarah Palin’s parents when they decided to have her.

8:32 – this game is sloppier than one of my daughter’s diapers.

8:33 – if we go into the half tied or losing, all of our players should be sent to UMBC.

8:36 – Yes! we have the elusive “useless white guy who Gary Williams will play no matter what” role filled again! Paulson has some big shoes to fill. I wonder where Mike Mardebitch is these days?

8:37 – add “fucking” to the swears I’ve heard on the broadcast tonight. I heart our fans 🙂

8:39 – Haha, I guess Comcast Sportsnet must think a lot of Baltimore fans are watching. when someone makes a basket, a “3” or “2” flashes up before it is added to the score. God forbid someone subtracts 37 from 40 to get the number 3. To make it easier, they should put “number of people Ray Lewis murdered” when someone scores two points.

8:43 – 11 minutes in and I already hate Stoglin. he needs a nickname….give me a minute….

8:53 – ok, Stoglin’s new nickname until I think of something better is Vasquez Dos.

8:57 – Palsssssson is playing like sssssssshit.

9:45 – How can 1 team miss so many shots/layups in 1 game? do we practice on regulation rims? because it looks like the only rims we are comfortable with have the word “jobs” after them.

9:48 – Jordin Williams is playing like Jordin Sparks. that mother raping butt squatter can not make a layup. how can someone that tall not make a layup. it would be like me being bad at being fat. it’s impossible.



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2 responses to “Maryland vs. Seattle (has a team now?)

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